Posting

It's been a while, isn't it?

Well, another insomnia night, LOL. So we're having this funny funny things called JAE posting, meaning to be posted to JCs. I'm very very nervous, seriously. So I start doing something that I don't usually do: to ask myself "What if?"

What if I can't get into the JC that I want?
What if I can't do well in JC?
What if I can't get along well with my friends in JC?
What if I miss my friends in SCGS and surely we're not going to meet each other again easily?
What if some of the significant ppl who have made my life so far will disappear forever?
What if...

So just a lame realisation: Life is all about the "what if" questions. As you grow older, the "What if" questions become more negative. Say... When you are a child, you ask questions like "What if I can fly?", "What if I can be a super hero?", "What if I can produce the vaccine for HIV?"...
But when you grow up, you ask questions like "What if the price goes up today?", "What if I loose?", "What if everyone hates me?"

I'm feeling like a grown-up now. As I grow old, worries get into my life and make it so trivial. I've cried until I fell asleep and still sobbed in my dream. For what? For all the negative "What if" I asked. And things go negatively for me. I don't want to be negative. But I just can't stop the process of growing up.

So I'm gonna practice the skills that most of us have lost along our life path. I'm gonna ask the positive "What if?"

What if I can get into the JC I want?
What if I can do well in school?
What if my new friends like me?
What if I can have some outings with my friends in SCGS?
What if I'm able to stay in touch with all the significant ppl?

Nothing is easy to achieve. But I believe once I change my mindset and become more positive, things will go well for me.

Good luck for me and for everyone who's also feel like insomnia due to this crappy posting thing.